Responsibility for Children’s Education
Tina Wang
National Central University
Author Note
Tina Wang, Department of English and American Literature, National Central University.
Abstract
Modern parents take their busyness for granted. They
mostly depend on third parties to educate their children. However, what
children get from third parties is how to get good grades, how to compete with
others, how to train their intelligence well, but not how to respect others,
how to deal with things well, how to have a nice personality—these things need
parents to be good examples to teach and affect children. Parents should
reflect themselves and ponder what children lack and how to make up for their
neglect due to busyness. The best and direct way is that parents have more
interaction with their children. They still can make good use of their
fragmented time like dinner time, or even share their leisure time with
children.
The
Predicament Modern Double-Income Families Are in:
Responsibility
for Children’s Education Is Transferred to Third Parties.
Figure 1
According
to the statistics made by DGBAS*1 in 2009 (Figure1), the labor participation rate
of married women increases year by year—that is, double-income families also
increase every year. Then, when tired parents finish their work and come back
home, do they have remaining energies to focus on their children? If they do
not educate their children, then, who does it in their place?
Nowadays, a lot of couples both enter workplaces to pay the expansive cost of living, becoming a double-income family. For DINK*2, couples might have an agreement that they do housework together; however, for those who have children, they still have to take care of and educate their children; however, double-income parents often have problems in doing those things. They are quite exhausted after work; they also have to do housework and details—it always deprives parents of their last patience, still less of looking after and teaching their children. Parents have no time and no energy to interact with children. In fact, if parents have extra time, they mostly prefer to relax themselves rather than focus on energetic children. Therefore, who are the third parties mainly educating children?
Nowadays, a lot of couples both enter workplaces to pay the expansive cost of living, becoming a double-income family. For DINK*2, couples might have an agreement that they do housework together; however, for those who have children, they still have to take care of and educate their children; however, double-income parents often have problems in doing those things. They are quite exhausted after work; they also have to do housework and details—it always deprives parents of their last patience, still less of looking after and teaching their children. Parents have no time and no energy to interact with children. In fact, if parents have extra time, they mostly prefer to relax themselves rather than focus on energetic children. Therefore, who are the third parties mainly educating children?
One is formal school institutions. Double-income parents entrust
their children to teachers; they take it for granted that teachers should take
care and educate their children well. Teachers become leading roles to cultivate
students, so their duties also increase. Another one is cram schools. Parents
send their children into cram schools not only for good grades, but also for
convenience. What is convenience double-income parents get? Double-income
parents always pick up their children late due to the work. To avoid the rush,
they ask children to go to the cram school nearby the school alone and have
maybe a two-hour class, so they might have enough time to pick them up.
Besides, some formal school institutions also have after school tutorial
classes for students; it provides another solution to help parents look after
and educate their children until they finish work. Some parents even hire a
tutor to teach children at home. Apparently, parents’ responsibility for educating
children is transferred to various third parties.
Take my experience for example. I was born in a double-income
family. When I was little, my parents were too busy to pick me up. I always
walked to the cram school after school and had a class until my mom finished
her work and took me home. Now I am a tutor as a part-time job. One of my
students’ parents asked me for checking out student’s homework. She claimed
that she had no patience to do it because she was very tired after
work. The other student’s parents do not care about how naughty their
child is in class; what they focus on is grades. They regard their child’s
mischief as my problem that I have to conquer. However, what I can teach their
son is limited knowledge and skills but not how to get along well with people
because I do not have enough experience about that.
Modern double-income families are in the predicament which is
about children’s education. Nowadays double-income parents are too busy to
interact with their children. They depend on third parties to take care of and
educate children. However, what children get from third parties is how to get
good grades, how to compete with others, how to train their intelligence well,
but not how to respect others, how to deal with things well, how to have a nice
personality—these things need parents to be good examples to teach and affect
children. It is not a good phenomenon to depend on third parties to educate
children. After all, third parties should be supporting roles but not leading
roles to educate children. When we walk on the street, seeing more and more
clever but rude students, we have to survey what’s wrong with education in
Taiwan.
A New Tendency
toward Education: Exchanging Children to Teach
Nowadays modern
double-income parents mostly depend on third parties to educate children;
however, it brings the new problem that children lack something such as sharing
and concessions which they cannot learn from
third parties. “Exchanging children to teach” is a new
tendency to educate children.
Mothers and
children are enjoying learning in "Play Group*3." It is
the new tendency toward upbringing—exchanging children to teach. In “Play
Group,” various mothers teach children as various teachers. Every mother is
good at something such as telling stories, art designing, communication with
children, playing, etc. Children can be stimulated by the interaction with
different mothers. Mothers who are novices at bringing up children do not have
enough experience so they often encounter difficulties in teaching children.
After joining Play Group, mothers can get not only children’s playmates but also
support to raise their children. They discuss with others to exchange
experience and advice. Sometimes parents are not the best teachers for
children. Through the interaction with various mothers, children will also
improve their attitude toward learning and behavior. Children realize
concessions, distribution, and sharing in Play Group—those are not easily
understood when children only stay at home with their own parents. Only happy
parents can make children happy. Play Group helps parents to get along with
their children well, no longer being depressed to educate. Parents also bring
new energy and models for children when they find new playmates.
Today the main
type of family is nuclear family composed of father, mother, and children. A
couple only have one or two children on average in Taiwan. If parents are both
busy at work, children's education will be the big problem for
them. Children have few or even no playmates at home; parents just focus
on their only one or two children so they easily satisfy children's needs as
much as possible. They do not understand what concessions and sharing are
because they have no one to share with and their parents always give what they
want. Then, children become selfish and willful.
Apparently, the changing of family structure also brings the new problem about children's education. As a result, new solution to that also comes out. Exchanging children to educate is one of the examples. However, what are further reasons which bring new problem about children's education? What are other solutions to help parents conquer the predicament they are in?
Apparently, the changing of family structure also brings the new problem about children's education. As a result, new solution to that also comes out. Exchanging children to educate is one of the examples. However, what are further reasons which bring new problem about children's education? What are other solutions to help parents conquer the predicament they are in?
*3: Please watch
the video “Parents are not the best teachers” on https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=bV-NJvJ1o-E
The Predicament Urban Middle-Class Families Encounter:
Parents Are Not the Best Teachers
Nowadays, we have fewer and fewer children every year in Taiwan.
According to The Predicament
Urban Middle-Class Families Encounter: Parents Are Not the Best
Teachers in Common Wealth No.419, 2009, the author, Sherry Lee,
thought children get what their parents give them too much to lack the basic
ability of living. For example, she once visited a kindergarten, and saw a
five-year-old child sitting on the chair to wait for the teacher taking off his
shoes. After 20 minutes, the teacher shouted her orders to the boy; then, the
boy unwillingly took off his shoes by himself. "The new generation
generally lacks the spirit of adventure, ability of distinguishing between
right and wrong, and discipline. Also, they delay to grow up." she wrote.
In 2007, nuclear families, single parent families,
grandparent-breeding families are over 50% in Taiwan. In contrast with
cooperation which extended families have, those are in the lonely upbringing
environment--because when parents are both busy, no one can help them take care
of their children. Apparently, the change of the family structure brings new problem
about education. Nearly 40% parents spend less than three hours to get along
with children who age 6 to 12 years old (Figure
2). Parents and children only have greeting but do not know the
details of life with each other. Parents are learning models to children;
however, they are overwhelmed by work. Many families are like a desert lodge;
parents are so busy to be "p.m. parents"—children see them only at
night. Parents and children become lonely travelers who have less conversations
and eyes intersection.
Figure 2
Married women in Taiwan have 1.1 children on average; however,
"no time" and "the economic burden" are main troubles for
parents to take care of children under six years old. To reduce burdens,
parents turn to third parties for teaching and looking after their children.
They depend on third parties and believe they can teach children well. As a
result, when children are not in line with their expectations,
a quarrel between them comes out. Most parents do not realize what children
mainly learn from school are limited knowledge and skills. Besides, how can a
teacher take care of every student in a class well? Children
still need to learn something being different from what in school. However,
parents may not be the best teachers to children because they do not understand
well how to teach and what to teach. Some parents are aware of that so they
find some methods to help them teach their children, just like "exchanging
children to teach" mentioned in my first annotation. Well, besides
"exchanging children to teach," what other useful methods can parents
take?
Children Volunteer –Learning More When Going out the
Classroom
Although a teacher teaches
Life Education hard for one semester, students can understand less than their
own experiences. Encouraging students to volunteer helps students have a kind
heart. When they contact with the disabled or the old, they understand difficulties
which those people encounter; then, they might be more concerned about them. If
students have participated in service teams when studying, the probability of
keeping volunteering after working will increase. However, if students have no
volunteer experience when studying, they might hardly volunteer after working
because their soft hearts are hardened with the impact of competition in the
workplace. It is ideal that volunteers use their specialties to help others,
because they benefit from each other—students learn to meet practical needs.
Xiu-ling Kuo, director
of World Vision Taiwan, indicated that many students are asked to engage in
social services. In last two years, the number of parents who actively
volunteered with children also increased. Parents encourage their children to
volunteer to learn what they cannot learn from schools. Some parents who
believe that “example is better than precept” will also volunteer, and then
lead their children to follow them. Topics between parents and children are no
longer only around schoolwork, but more about others; parent-child relationship
will be more harmonious.
However, if double-income
parents are too busy to volunteer with children, how can they encourage their
children to volunteer? There are various charities in Taiwan, such as Tzuchi,
Genesis Social Welfare Foundation, Eden Social Welfare Foundation, etc. Most of
them held activities to teach children how to give feedback to the society.
Parents send their children into the organization; then, members teach children
morality and lead them to practice. Mr. Chen, who also sent his child into
activities Tzuchi hold, believed that children learned more than what teachers
taught in schools. After seeing the change of his child, he decided to join the
volunteer team. It is a bonus that children affect their parents to volunteer.
Actually, double-income parents can also volunteer with their children in their
limited leisure time.
In fact,
teachers in schools also notice the importance of social service; some of them
take students to visit nursing homes, caring for the old. Even now a lot of
colleges require that students need to volunteer over 100 hours before
graduation. Obviously, more and more people highlight the issue about
volunteers; however, does being volunteers become formalized? If children
volunteer without parents, how can they improve their relationship?
Distort the Original Intent When
Volunteers Can Be a Plus
—Parents Should Lead Children by
Themselves
Parents
volunteering with children might improve their relationships. However,
double-income parents are too busy to volunteer with children. Parents
understand if children volunteer, they can learn something different from what
teachers teach in school, such as service and being concerned about the
disadvantaged. Still, parents depend on third parties to encourage their
children to volunteer. Take my university for example. My school made a rule
that students have to volunteer over 100 hours, or they cannot graduate. Our
Ministry of Education also gives high students extra grades to encourage them
to volunteer. Students are willing to volunteer due to extra grades but not
wanting to help others or improving themselves; they become utilitarian.
There is a piece
of news*4 which describes that our Ministry of Education makes
a proposal to encourage students to volunteer. If students volunteer over 6
hours in a semester, they will get extra 2 grades. However, when students have
volunteered for 6 hours, they will not keep volunteering. Besides, schools do
not have enough volunteer jobs for so many students; they do not have enough
staves to check out jobs, either. Then, the quality of volunteers
is unstable.
The proposal
is debatable. People volunteer because they want to help others, but because
they want to get rewards. The proposal reverses the purpose of volunteers. It
is indeed a good thing that students volunteer spontaneously; but if
students volunteer just for extra grades, it is not worth encouraging them to
volunteer, because it might make students more utilitarian. If
parents want to help children develop goof personalities and improve their
relationships, the best way is that they themselves lead their children to
volunteer! Although teachers in school sometimes take students to visit the
disadvantaged, it cannot improve the patent-child
relationship directly. Parents are the most important learning model for
children. When children see their parents also doing what parents have
talked to them, they might be more willing to follow. Also, parents and
children will have more topics of conversation instead of schoolwork.
Double-income parents are busy; however, they still have to share their
leisure time with children. In the morning, parents can say "Good
luck!" or "Have a good day!" to their children before going to
work. At the table, they can turn off the TV and talk about what happened today
to each other. If parents make good use of fragmented time, they
will be surprised at the good results.
*4: Please watch
the news “Volunteers Can Be a Plus” on http://www.ctitv.com.tw/news_video_c16v105263.html
Conclusion
Responsibility
for children's education is transferred to third parties; however, some
problems also come out. Please look at Figures below:
Figure 3
Originally,
parents and third parties (teachers in figures) both have their
responsibilities for children's education (Figure
3).
Figure 4
However, modern
parents are so busy that they regard their responsibility as teachers' (Figure 4).
Figure 5
Parents' burden decreases
while teachers' increases (Figure 5).
Figure 6
But, teachers
cannot hold the new heavy burden so they still maintain what in the beginning
while parents keep the new one (Figure 6).
Then, where is the missing part?
Parents
transferred their responsibility so easily as to ignore the problem that
teachers did not do what they originally expected. As the result, no one
is responsible to the missing part; children also lack it, maybe
becoming rude. Apparently, Parents should reflect themselves and ponder what
children lack and how to make up for their neglect due to busyness. The best and direct way is that parents have
more interaction with their children. They still can make good use
of their fragmented time like dinner time, or even share their leisure time
with children.
References
行政院主計總處綜合統計處家庭收支科–台灣地區家庭收支調查,
form World Wilde Web: http://win.dgbas.gov.tw/fies/result2out.asp?year=100
form World Wilde Web: http://win.dgbas.gov.tw/fies/result2out.asp?year=100
Lee, S. (2009,
April). The Predicament Urban Middle-Class Families Encounter:
Parents Are Not
the Best Teachers. Common Wealth.
Daisy L. Hung.
(2008, Nov 4). Going out the classroom as volunteers.
Chiu, Q. P.
(2009, Oct 4). Parents and children volunteer together.
Gao, Z. L. &
Zhang Y. L. (2012, Jun 30). Children grew up.
Zhang N. C.
(2012, July 13). Children volunteered in the nursing home.
Chen, G. M.,
& Huang, F. R. (2012, November 21). Students distort the original intent
when volunteers can be a plus. Ctitv.
Zhu, B. X.
(2012, December 2). It is proper or not that volunteers get extra grades. Cast
Net.
